A Better Way

 by JenniferWhite, President, The JWC Group

Broadcast of 4/5/99

Subject: Set Up The Game So You May Actually Lose

A BETTER WAY
A nationally syndicated column
by Jennifer White
jencoach@successu.com

TODAY'S TOPIC: SET UP THE GAME SO YOU MAY ACTUALLY LOSEBusiness is a game. And I think you may not be playing a big enough one.

Okay, I know, that's a pretty broad statement. But let my words be a smack on the side of your head. You are not challenging yourself enough in your work. The game you're playing is too easy to win.

I'm talking to people who know they are successful. You know who you are.

As an achiever, one of the things that inspires you about business is the challenge of the game. The thrill of going for it. The chance to prove you can do it.

But every day, I see people like you who set themselves up to win, and in doing so, you strip the challenge right out of the game. It's as if you decided to play tennis, but you only want to play with people you know you can beat. Occasionally you lose a match, but most of the time, you win.

It's as if your fearless, maverick, "I can do it" attitude flew right out the window once you reached a certain point in your career. Now you calculate how to set the rules so you can succeed every time.

That way of living is what I call boring.

Now stay with me before you decide I'm wrong. Many high achievers I work with are incredibly successful at being successful. When the world looks at you, they are amazed at all you've accomplished. They say things like, "Wow. You have come so far." or "Look at you. The king/queen of the world." or "Do you ever fail at anything?"

It feels good to have this recognition, but there's also a part of you who had no doubt you'd be where you are today. Why? Because it was pretty easy for you to get to where you are.

When I say this to my clients, they typically respond by saying, "But look at how far I've come compared to everyone else." I don't care about everyone else. I care that you live to your full potential.

I know you've worked long hours. I know you've put a lot of your life on hold to have what you want. But I also know that you're constantly setting up the game to ensure you'll win. You set a big goal, but just big enough where you know you can make it. You take a new job that you know you can have an impact on in the first 90 days. You hire a new employee who's not as good as you are so you can always be the superstar. Deep inside, you're a little bored.

A few months ago, I experienced this in my own life. I was talking with my coach, and I said, "I just want to have faith that everything will work out."

Brilliantly, she asked, "What does 'work out' mean?" I paused. That was a darn good question. When I really thought about it, work out meant I didn't fail. Uh oh.

I didn't like it when I sat back to think about my answer. After all, I'm the one who goes around telling people to stick their necks out and risk. I'm the one who started a business when I was in my 20s when everyone told me it wouldn't work. I'm the one who people call fearless. But being afraid to fail? That question hit too close to home.

My coach was telling me all the success I had already achieved in my life wasn't close to what I could do. That's the same thing I'm telling you.

Don't let your fear of failure stop you from living to your true potential. Get out there and play with people who can actually beat you. You need to play to win, but not care about the winning. Care about who it'll help you become along the way.

The paradox here is you'll find the taste of victory will be that much sweeter.

And yes, I am taking my own advice.

Copyright 1999, Jennifer White. All rights reserved. Please do not duplicate this information without written permission.

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