A Better Way

 by JenniferWhite, President, The JWC Group

Broadcast of 4/17/99

Subject: Persistence Pays?

A BETTER WAY
A nationally syndicated column
by Jennifer White
jencoach@successu.comPersistence pays off. Or does it?

If you're like me, you've listened to the stories of people who never quit until they made it. In fact, I've even been known to write about these heroic situations in this column.

But this week, I'm changing my tune. Persistence pays as long as you don't sacrifice your life for the goal. And often times as high achievers, that's exactly what we do.

One of my clients learned this lesson the hard way. When Don graduated from college, he decided to go to work at his father's real estate company. Don had just gotten married, was expecting a child within the year, and he wanted to provide for his family. He was pretty good at talking with people, and he decided he could make a lot of money in real estate. If you ask Don why he went into real estate, he won't tell you he loves people or that he gets charged up to talk about properties. He'll tell you he makes great money. And his goal from the beginning was to make tons of money.

For any of you who are in real estate, you understand how many hours are involved in building your business. When everyone else is working, you're not. When everyone else is not working, like on nights and weekends, you are. Don soon found his business booming, and the time with his family dwindling. He was able to carve out some time to spend with his daughter, but his wife was another story. She worked the typical work day, so Don was lucky to spend a few hours with her each week. When she complained about their lack of time together, Don would get frustrated. He often said, "Just hold on for a little bit longer. I'm right on the verge of making it financially, and when I do, we'll be able to spend lots of time together."

During those years, Don believed his father when he said, "You have to sacrifice for your success." Don believed the motivational speakers who told him to never give up on his dream of being rich. Don believed the stories he heard about people overcoming tremendous odds to reach their goals. And Don did exactly what they told him to do. He sacrificed time with his family for his goal.

His wife stayed with him for ten years. In that time, Don took over his father's business and grew his own income to more than $300,000 a year. He worked on average 70 hours a week, and it was rare he was home for dinner with his family. In fact, he told me in that 10-year stretch, he only attended five events at his children's schools. That's one every two years. Yet the entire time he kept telling himself he needed persistence to stay focused on his goal.

The day Don hired an office manager to take over the day-to-day operation of the business, the day he decided he had finally reached his goal, he rushed home to share the news with his wife. Finally, he was in a position to be able to spend more time with her because his goal of being financially independent had come true.

That was the day she told him she wanted a divorce.

Does persistence pay? It depends how you look at it. Yes, Don made it financially. So in one way, you could say his attitude of never giving up worked during those 10 years. But what I believe ­ and what Don now knows ­ is he sacrificed his marriage for that goal. It doesn't matter how persistent you are if you end up giving up the relationships you value the most.

Go for the big goal. Stay focused on your dreams. Live to your full potential. Just make sure you treasure and invest in what matters the most. In the end, it's not reaching the goal that truly matters. Sometimes it's enough just to reach for it.
Copyright 1999, Jennifer White. All rights reserved. Please do not duplicate this information without written permission.

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