A Better Way

 by JenniferWhite, President, The JWC Group

Broadcast of 4/18/99

Subject: I'm Too Busy

A BETTER WAY
A nationally syndicated column
by Jennifer White
jencoach@successu.com"I'm too busy."

How many times have you heard this excuse? I don't know about you, but I hear this "I'm too busy" comment all the time. It's the reason people give for not spending more time with their family. It's the excuse they give for not exercising, not vacationing, not truly living.

This busyness has become a disease. It's a disease that's destroying your families, your career and your friendships.

When you're so busy, you fail to invest the time on the things that matter the most. You keep pushing them off until someday when you have the time to focus. But that time never comes, because you're too busy.

After working with hundreds of clients, I know the real reason why this busyness has taken over your life. Being busy makes you feel important.

The truth is you like your life exactly the way it is. You like being frenzied, burned out, exhausted and tired. Why? Because for most of you, it makes you feel important. It makes you feel as if you're really doing something with your life. In fact, one of the consultants I work with said, "When I look around and see that my desk is a mess, I know I'm doing the right things. I'm making stuff happen or I wouldn't be so busy."

How do you expect to stop the frenzied pace when it gives you such a tremendous payoff? The answer is, you don't. Every single time you say "I'm busy" or "I don't have time," it reinforces how darn successful you are. You've made the association that if you're busy, you're successful. And if you're not busy, you're a failure.

I know there's a part of you who wants to stop the fast pace and take a moment to breathe. That's why you complain about being so busy.

You must overcome your belief that success means being busy. To do that, you must give yourself room to be bored. I know, you hate that idea. But that's how you stop the busyness. You must give yourself the experience of being bored.

For those of you who are always running a mile a minute, I know you're already resisting this. You think you'll lose your edge if you slow down. You think you'll miss out on some huge opportunity. You hate being bored so why would you do it on purpose?

That's what I used to say. Giving myself space to be bored was just about the hardest thing I ever did. I was petrified that if I stopped running, if I stopped being driven, if I stopped being extreme, I would lose my touch. I would get lazy. Or worse, fall into mediocrity.

But let me tell you, you must give yourself space to be bored in order to find out what your busyness is masking. You're so used to being busy, that you don't know what it's like to breathe. You have no idea who you are because you're too busy to ask yourself such an important question.

Perhaps you're like this potential new client I was interviewing the other day. Bill has a house on the beach with the most incredible view of the ocean. But he told me it's difficult for him to sit and watch the water because he's always needing to do something. He hasn't relaxed for so long, he forgot how to do it.

Does any of this sound familiar?

You must give yourself room to breathe. Am I advocating you go on vacation to force yourself to have some space? Yes. Am I advocating you take an hour a day - 60 minutes a day - every day for the next three months to be bored? Yes. I am suggesting that you do anything, and I mean anything, to give yourself time to be bored. Don't resist it. Just be bored. And see what happens when you give yourself the space.

A wise man once told me, "Boredom is the gateway to peace." You will find the answers you need to stop the busyness if you let yourself be bored for a while.

Don't worry. The boredom won't last forever. But the wisdom you'll find, ah, now that will last forever.
Copyright 1999, Jennifer White. All rights reserved. Please do not duplicate this information without written permission.

This column is available for syndication. If you want to use this material in your publication, please contact The JWC Group at sales@successu.com. Email us for details.